Daperture

I was standing in line to get a simple cup of coffee. Just some hot water run through roasted, crushed coffee beans with a splice of milk and sugar. Just enough h2o bathed on caffeine goodness for the morning jolt that would power my day. It couldn't be more simpler, but as I watched what I believed to be the coffee elite in front of me spout their incomprehensible personal drink orders I couldn't help but stand in awe of what I did not know. Their tone of voice could convince any bystander that their drink was the creme de la creme of all drinks to be. "I'd like to have the Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso and please free pour the cream base and substitute it with organic alternative..." I couldn't help but wonder if there was a correlation between taste and the complexity of the drink name. Or perhaps there's a correlation between pride and drink complexity name.

I don't know if it's just me, but it seems like the most complex drinks come out of the people who seem the most snobbish. The next thing I notice is following the drink order the female in this instance would pull her Gucci wallet out of her Coach bag to pay for her drink with her American Express card. When she picks up her drink, she struts out of the shop placing her Prada mask sunglasses on to block out the world and steps into her overpriced Range Rover immaculately detailed as if to have never seen a dirt road before. Of course my turn comes up next, and I the mere mortal ask for a simple cup of coffee and some room for creme.

What's more amazing though is that through the myriad of complex drinks that come through, the baristas can unflinchingly create these drinks with the such ease that I'm utterly floored at how they can remember all the details. Despite their expertise, they are still only paid minimum wage which makes my feeble mind wonder if these people just secretly have degrees in rocket science and are paid via stock options. I'd have to think that being a barista is a 6-figure income, but it's not the case, so I set out to learn the secrets of the master barista. It's just my luck that there just seems to be someone knowledgeable enough to shed light unto the darkness that shrouds my mine. I have put together a guide to simplify and explain the *cough cough* vast intricacies and details of this coffee world.

What is espresso?
The definition of espresso is important since it's the basis of all the coffee drinks that are made by your favorite Seattle based shop that rhymes with barstucks. Simply, espresso is coffee beans + hot water. Or as Wikipedia would state, "...is a concentrated coffee beverage brewed by forcing very hot, but not boiling water under high pressure through coffee that has been ground to a consistency between extremely fine and powder."

Now here are the basic list of drinks that every elite person orders from, since coffee is far too simple for their haughty tastebuds.

• Cappuccino
• Latte
• Americano
• Espresso
• Mocha
• Macchiato

There is a simple secret to the difference in all these drinks. This secret I am about to tell you, will allow you to debunk even the most complicated drink orders with such ease, you could probably join the ranks of the secret barista society and put your head up high when leaving any barstucks.

The previously mentioned drinks are all made of the following ingredients only differentiated by the order they are placed into the cup and their respective quantities: Espresso shots, milk and syrups

Here is a table that shows the various drink making processes.

Pretty simple, eh? It's just shots of espresso, milk and syrup (aka flavored sugar)...